What Would Viola Do?

The Gentle Magic of Self-Advocacy

This week I have had to personally address the topic of self-advocacy. I don’t like speaking up for myself. I feel – or have learned to feel – abrasive, annoying, and overly emotional when I have to stand up for myself or my needs.

But in the realms of both magic and life coaching, there is a quiet but potent truth: your voice carries power.

And, particularly when we are children, not everyone wants us to be powerful. So we learn to be quiet, to not take up space, to put others’ needs ahead of our own.

What Is Self-Advocacy, Really?

We talk a lot about alignment—aligning your actions with your values, your choices with your goals, your life with your truth. Self-advocacy is the bridge between your inner clarity and the outer world. It’s what happens when you decide: I matter enough to ask.

That “ask” might be for respect. For rest. For help. For space. For opportunity.

And it might sound different depending on your history, your fears, your identity, your voice.

But the essence remains: you recognize your sovereignty, and you act from it.

Self-advocacy is often portrayed as loud, bold, or confrontational. But in truth, it’s simply this: standing in the reality of your own needs, desires, and worth—and choosing to speak from that place. Whether whispered, sung, or shouted, your truth reshapes your world.

​​Why It Feels Like a Spell

Magic is just focused intent backed by energy and belief. And when you self-advocate, you’re doing just that:

You set an intention (I want something to change).

You focus your energy (I am willing to speak it).

You channel belief (I deserve to be met here).

Even if your voice shakes. Even if your words are messy. Even if the person you're advocating to is yourself.

Every time you do this, you realign your reality. You strengthen the field where your truth, your needs, and your sovereignty are in harmony.

The Coaching Perspective: How We Forget Ourselves

A big part of coaching is about helping people remember themselves.

We forget we’re allowed to have boundaries.

We forget we can change our mind.

We forget that asking doesn’t make us a burden.

We forget because we've been taught it's safer to stay silent than to be seen as "too much."

A good coach helps you untangle the cords that made your voice feel dangerous in the first place. And when you are ready, they’ll remind you:

Your “no” is holy. Your “yes” is sacred. And your “I need” is a declaration, not an apology.

​​A Bit of Practical Magic

Here’s a small self-advocacy spell you can adapt however you wish:

Stand in a quiet space. Light a candle if it helps you centre. Place one hand on your heart, the other on your belly. Speak aloud a need you’ve been holding inside. No justifying. No minimizing. Just truth.

"I need rest."

"I need to be heard."

"I need space to be myself."

"I need help, and I’m worthy of receiving it."

Feel how strange and electric that is? That’s magic.

That’s power being reclaimed.

​Role Models: Who Is Viola?

Viola is my daughter. She also happens to be a cat. Don’t judge. As Aura and I were writing this piece, Viola yelled loudly and took her place on my lap. It doesn’t seem to matter that I always arrange myself on the sofa in the right position, with her favourite blanket, just in case she decides to grace me with her presence.

She recognised her desire. She spoke her truth. She acted with the expectation that her needs would be met with love. She claimed her power. And my lap.

I am very grateful to have been provided with my potent familiar and role model in Viola. One of my mantras is “Be More Viola”. She never worries about being too much or too little and is always no more or less than herself, unapologetically. She never questions whether her needs or desires will be burdensome and will brook no suggestion that these are unimportant or inconvenient.

​For any readers who always put themselves first with no thought at all for others, be less Viola. For the rest of us, we need the reminder that we are allowed to have needs and to ask for them.

​​​​Final Thought: You Are the Spell

The world doesn’t always make it easy to speak up.

But your voice - your real one, not the polished or palatable version - is part of your essence.

To self-advocate is to cast a spell in the shape of your soul.

To say: I am here. I am allowed. I am whole.

And that is where transformation begins.

What is one truth you’re ready to speak today? Whisper it. Shout it. Write it down.

Be more you.

Until next time, fly safely.

The Alchemist